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SFES SHAYARI (I Miss U)

in SFES INDIA - on 1:38:00 AM - No comments

1 purani haveli ke band kamre me Dhool se bhari tasveer ke peechhe lage jaale me Phansi makari ki dum par baithe machchhar ki Kasam.
.."i miss u"..
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TERI DOSTI KI ROSHNI ITANI HAI KE HAR TARAF UJALA HI UJALA HAI......
SOCH TA HOON KI.....
SOCH TA HOON KI .......
GHAR KI BIJALI KATWADU AUR TUJE DIWAR PE LATKA DU.....
..........................................
YE JO HASINO KE BAAL HOTE HAIN,LADKO KO FASAANE KE JAAL HOTE HAIN,
YE HASINAYAIN PEE JAATI HAIN SAARA KHOON LADKO KA ISILIYE INKE LIPS ITNE LAL HOTE HAIN.
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Rone de aaj humko tu aansooo bahane deBaaho mein mujhe le le aur khud ko tu bheeg jaane de
Hai iss dil mein itna dard, ki tera daman bhi bheeg jaayegaMonday se intzaar me hoon... Yeh Saturday kab aayega....
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SFES SMS (Khushbu ki tarah aapke)

in SFES INDIA - on 1:23:00 AM - No comments

Khushbu ki tarah aapke paas bikhar jaunga,
Sukun bankar dil mein utar jaunga,

Mehsus karneki koshish kijiye,
dur hokar bhi paas nazar aounga.

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Raat ki khamoshi raas nahi aati
Meri parchayi bhi ab mere paas nahi aati

Kuch aati hai toh bas teri yaad
jo aakar ek pal bhi mujhse door nahi jaati..

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Log har manzil ko mushkil samajhte hai,
ham har mushkil ko manzil samajhte hai.

Bada fark hai log aur hamare nazarie me,
log dil ko dard aur ham dard ko dil samajhte hai..

............................................

Chirago se andhere door ho jate,
toh chand ki chahat hamme na hoti,

agar kat sakti akeli ye jindagi,
to apki jaroorat hamme na hoti..

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SFES SMS (Message na karke dil tod diya)

in SFES INDIA - on 1:18:00 AM - No comments

Msg na karke dil tod diya mera,
Ab mobile dafna dena,
Kafan na mile to apna rumal udha dena,
Koi puchhe rog kya tha,
To nazre jhuka k apni Kanjusi bata dena.

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JAB BHI KANJUSI mein OSCAR KA NOMINATION AAYEGA,
TERA NAAM BHI USME ZARUR AAYEGA,
AGAR YE PADKAR BHI TUNE REPLY NAHI KIYA,
TO PEHLA PRIZE BHI TUZE MIL JAAYEGA.

.....................................................

Tharo SMS jab jab aavay hai
Maro rom rom machal jawe hai
Ang ang mein gud gudi howe hai
Tharo SMS ka nahee kasoor
Maro mobile vibration pe howe he.
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Dhokha mila jab pyar mein
Zindagi mein udaasi cha gai
Socha tha chod denge is raah ko par….
Kambhakhat…..
Aaj mohalle mein dusari aa gai

.....................................................

SFES JOKE (Funnny Conversation )

in SFES INDIA - on 1:16:00 AM - No comments

Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.

SCENE: The Oval Office. George Bush and Condolezza Rice.

George: Condi! Nice to see you? What''s happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Let's hear it.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I''m asking you? Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu?

George: The Chinese?

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya?asking me for?

Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well,I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That''s the man's name.

George: That's whose name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes sir.

George: Yassir? You mean arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.

Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. On the phone. I bet he knows.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: Call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N .?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: and stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N!

Condi: Kofi?

George: all right! Light with sugar. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi: Rice here.

George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too.

SFES JOKE (The donkey)

in SFES INDIA - on 1:13:00 AM - No comments

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race and it won again.

The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.

The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline: NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN .

The Bishop fainted.

He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the headlines read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free.

The next day the headlines read : NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

Alas... The Bishop was buried the next day.

MORAL OF THE STORY???

Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life. So, be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll live longer.

SFES JOKE (A DRUNK ON THE BUS )

in SFES INDIA - on 12:37:00 AM - No comments

A drunk gets on a bus. The driver, impatient while the drunk fumbles in his pocket for change, drives off. As the bus starts rolling, the drunk reacts to the sudden movement by stumbling all the way to the back of the bus. The bus stops at the next stop.

He reacts by stumbling to the front of the bus.

Still the drunk man is fumbling in his pocket for change. The bus jerks forward once again, and the drunk stumbles uncontrollably to the back of the bus once again. Next stop, the same thing happens.

In fact, every time the bus stops, the man would stagger to the front. Every time the bus starts, he staggers uncontrollably to the back.

A few stops later, the drunk starts to exit the bus from the front.

"Hey," shouts the bus driver.... "You didn't pay your fare yet!"

The drunk, still reeling, shouts back,

"Why should I?!. . . I walked all the way!"

SFES JOKE (Seat STUCK)

in SFES INDIA - on 12:35:00 AM - No comments

A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat.

The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear.

She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and they go.

When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show their predicament. The man asks, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?"

"Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but not framed like that."

JUST LAUGH (Not the real thing)

in by Ashwani - on 1:46:00 AM - No comments

An airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa had a malfunction, and went down. A few weeks later, Pepsi sent a rescue plane.

They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals. They walkedup to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash.

The Chief said, "Yeah.." When asked where the crew was, the Chief replied, "We ate the crew, and we drank the Pepsi." The rescue crew were shocked.

One man asked, "Did you eat their legs?" The chief replied, "We ate their legs, and we drank the Pepsi."

Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?" The Chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi."

After looking totally perplexed for a minute, a third asked, "Did you..you know...eat their...ah, err, 'things'?"

The chief said, "No."

"No?" asked the rescuer.

"No," replied the Chief. "Things go better with Coke."

ROMANTIC SHAYARY (KABHI PATJHAD MEIN BAHAR)

in by Ashwani - on 1:44:00 AM - No comments

KABHI PATJHAD MEIN BAHAR AATI HAI
KABHI BAHAR MEIN BHI PHOOL NAHI KHILTE
KISI KI LAASH PAR BANTA HAI TAJMAHAL
KISI KI LAASH KO KAFAN TAK NAHI MILTE

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Tumse doori ka ehsaas jab satane laga,
Tere sath guzra har lamha yaad aane laga
Jabbhi tumhe bhulne ki koshish ki,
Ae dost tu dil ke aur paas aane laga..

..............................................

Dooriyo se fark padta nahi hai.
Baat to dilo ki nazdikiyo se hoti hai.
Dosti to kuch khas aap jaise se hi hai,
Varna mulaqat na jaane kitno se hoti hai.

..............................................

Aapko bhool jau umar guzarne ki baat hai,
Aap ko naa ho yakin yeh aur baat hai,
Jab tak rahegi saas tab tak rahonge yaad,
Yeh saas tut jaaye to aur baat hai…

JOKE (ME and MY BOSS )

in by Ashwani - on 1:41:00 AM - No comments

When I Take a long time to finish, I am slow,

When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough

When I don't do it, I am lazy,

When my boss does not do it, he is busy,

When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart,

When my boss does the same, he takes the initiative,

When I please my boss, I am apple polishing,

When my boss pleases his boss, he is cooperating,

When I make a mistake, I' am an idiot.

When my boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When I am out of the office, I am wondering around.

When my boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When I am on a day off sick, I am always sick.

When my boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When I apply for leave, I must be going for an interview

When my boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked

When I do good, my boss never remembers,

When I do wrong, he never forgets

Shayary (Is Dil Main Tarane)

in by Ashwani - on 1:38:00 AM - No comments

Arz hai..

Is dil me tarane bahot hai
Zindagi zine ke bahane bahot hai
Kis kis ko sms karoo
Kambakht is nachiz ke diwane bahut hai....

.................................

Bandar ki Beti Apne Bap se Boli Papa Papa Mujhe Shadi Karni Hai.

Beta thoda intazar karo kyonki.

Dulha Abhi SMS Read Kar Raha hai.

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Laloo bada chalak hai
Nau baccho ka bap hai
Laloo bada nirala he
Dasva ane wala he..
Ye andar ki baat hai
Isme Vajpayee ka hat hai..

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Dimag Jiska
...ICE
Jivan Uska
...NICE

Dil Jiska
...PURE
Safalta Mile
...SURE

Nazar Jiski
...CLEAR

Wo Bane Sabka
...DEAR eg.Mai hun na! :-)

JOKE (Top Ten Reasons Why Eve Was Created)

in by Ashwani - on 4:17:00 AM - No comments

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, it is not good for man to be alone.

And the Number 1 reason why God created Eve...

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

JOKE (Why Wedding Dress is always WHITE)

in by Ashwani - on 4:15:00 AM - No comments

Son asked his mother:

"Mom, why are wedding dresses white?"

The mother looks at her son and replies,

"Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure."

The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.

"Dad why are wedding dresses white?"

The father looks at his son in surprise and says,

"Son, all household appliances come in white."

JOKE (Future Fireman)

in by Ashwani - on 1:05:00 AM - No comments

A guy meets a childhood pal.

"What are you doing for yourself these days?"

"I'm a fireman."

"Oh yeah? My 15-year-old kid wants to be a fireman."

"Well, if you want some good advice, you've got to install in your house a pole that will go to the basement so your kid can practice, 'cause the hardest thing for a fireman is to jump off into space and catch that pole in the middle of the night."

Ten years later, the two guys happen to meet again.

"Well, did your son become a fireman?"

"No, but I have two daughters who are "dancers."

JOKE (The Best "Out-Of-Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies)

in by Ashwani - on 1:01:00 AM - No comments

1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.

2: I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management

5: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

6: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

7: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.'

(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

8: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

9: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

10: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.

11: I've run away to join a different circus.

AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE:

12: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons.

When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'

JOKE (20 YEAR)

in by Ashwani - on 11:56:00 PM - No comments

My friend Ada was slowly recovering from a heart attack.

"Doctor," she pleaded with her cardiologist, "you must keep me alive for the next two years. I want to attend my first grandchild's bar mitzvah."

"We'll try," he replied compassionately.

In due course Ada gratefully attended the festive rite of passage.

Some time later she again spoke to her doctor. "My granddaughter is to be married in 18 months. Please help me to be able to attend her wedding."

"We'll do our best," he replied.

And my friend happily attended her granddaughter's wedding.

Ten years passed. Ada visited her cardiologist regularly and followed his instructions religiously. One morning she called him. "Doctor," she began, "I'm feeling fine, but I have another request to ask of you:

Remember how you saw me through to my grandson's bar mitzvah?"

"Yes."

"And later how you helped me attend my granddaughter's wedding?"

"Yes."

"Well, as you know I've just celebrated my 80th birthday. And I just bought myself a new mattress."

"Yes?"

"It has a 20-year guarantee..."

Romantic Shayari (Barish ke paani ko)

in by Ashwani - on 11:54:00 PM - No comments

Barish ke paani ko apne haathon mein samet lo.
Jitna aap samet paaye utna aap humein chahte hai
Aur jitna na samet paye utna hum aap ko chahte hai.
..................................................

Har nazar ko ek nazar ki talash Hai,
Har dil mein chupa ek ehsaas hai,

Aap se pyaar yuhi nahi kiya humney,
Kya kare hamari pasand hi kuch khaas hai.
..................................................

Har pal ne kaha ek pal se,
Pal bhar ke liye aap mere samne aa jao,
Pal bhar ka saath kuch aisa ho,
Ki har pal tum hi yaad aao....
.................................................

Aapko Lagta Hai Ke Humne Aapko Bhula Rakha Hai
Aap Nahi Jaante Dil Mein Kahi Chupa Rakha Hai

Dekh Na Le In Aankhon Me Aapko Koi
Isliye Palko Ko Bhi zhuka Rakha Hai
..................................................

JOKE (Phone Call)

in by Ashwani - on 4:24:00 AM - No comments

The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear.

"How are you, darling?" it said. "What kind of a day are you having?"

"Oh, mother," said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I've just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I'm supposed to have two couples over for dinner tonight."

The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy.

"Oh, darling," she said, "sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I'll be over in half an hour. I'll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I'll feed the baby and I'll call a repairman I know who'll be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly. Now stop crying. I'll do everything. In fact, I'll even call George at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once."

"George?" said the housewife. "Who's George?"

"Why, George! Your husband!... Isn't this 223-1374?"

"No, this is 232-1374."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I have the wrong number."

There was a short pause and the housewife said, "Does this mean you're not coming over?"

Jokes (MEXICAN DELICACY)

in Funny Jokes by Ashwani - on 12:26:00 AM - No comments

An american was touring Mexico. After his day's sight-seeing, he stops at a local restaurant. While sipping his wine, he notices a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only it looked good, but the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What was that you just served the gentleman at the next table?"

The waiter replied, " Ah, senor, you have excellent taste! Those were the bull's testicles from the bull-fight this morning. A delicacy!"

The American was momentarily daunted when he learnt the origin of the dish. But then he said, "What the hell? I am on vacation! Bring me an order!"

The waiter replied, "I am sorry, senor. There is only one serving a day, since there is only one bull-fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, you will be sure to have this delicacy!"

The next morning, the American returned, placed his order, and was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, he called the waiter and said, "These are smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"

The waiter replied, " Si, senor, I know. But sometimes the bull wins."

SFES India